He’s A Prick Painter or Pricasso for Short

September 29, 2007

I found this short story on Yahoo about a guy named Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso because he paints with his prick. No lie, his prick. There are just too many visuals that are running through my head to write coherently, so forgive me. The article said he had painted many famous people including Bush and the Queen of England. I wonder if they sat for their painting or he just painted them when he was horny.

At least we know he is Bi-sexual. Does he take Cialis to get that 4 hour erection? I wonder how long his paintbrush is…
How can anyone keep a straight face and watch him paint?
Does he paint fast and hard or slow and easy? or both? What happens if the paint dries on his prick? Has he ever painted a self-portrait of him painting? Did he enhance his paintbrush, just a little? If he paints a lot is he getting callouses on his paintbrush? How does he paint eyelashes on faces with eyelashes being so fine? Is his paintbrush that tiny? With all the movement required with painting, what does he do when he reaches a climax? Or, is that his signature?

I can’t stop laughing, so I will leave the rest of the remarks in the capable hands of my readers. I’m sure all of you can come up with some goodies.


Get Out and Stay Out!

September 21, 2007

The United Nations has overstayed their welcome and it is time they left our country. We should withdraw from the United Nations, kick them out of our country and start a legitimate organization for countries that truly want peace and will not use aggression, unless it is in the form of self-defense.

The United Nations is a congregation of the biggest crooks and thieves in the entire world. Some of the most violent human rights abusers are in the United Nations and equal to the United States when it comes to voting. That is so absurd; it should be criminal. We gain nothing from being in the United Nations, especially compared to our costs.

We can establish new trade policies with like-minded countries. A true most favored nation status, not the political status that is now in place. No more diplomatic immunity. When in our country, you must abide by our rules and pay your fines. No special parking privileges. If you commit rape, you go to prison.

No more visas issued to people like Arafat (when he was alive), Iran’s little dictator (needing heel lifts in his shoes), and others of their ilk. If our President wants to meet with them, they can do it in a neutral country. Never shall they contaminate our soil ever again.

We need to fumigate our country and rid it once and for all of the stench of the United Nations. If someone would organize a march against the United Nations, I would join that march in a heartbeat. We should chase them to the nearest airports and make sure they get aboard. My sign would say, “Get Out and Stay Out”.


Who is the Blackest?

September 20, 2007

Sometimes, you just need to get away from it all. I’ve been on vacation and enjoyed every minute that I spent relaxing, gift shopping, boating, swimming and most of all spending time in the sun. I am a sun bunny at heart. I didn’t waste one minute thinking or talking about politics, Presidential candidates, health care or immigration. I felt clean and pure, happy and happier. I think I will make this a regular habit.

What did I find upon my return?

Hillary is running away with the Democratic campaign and the MSM is keeping the Chinese money as low key as possible, so not to derail her train. We have suffered through the Chinese connection with Bill, can’t we please have one election without the Chop Suey menu served up with Misfortune Cookies?

Obama is fading as fast as a sprinter in a long distance race. He is destined to be the Vice, in charge of keeping all the blacks on the Democratic farm as slaves to the party. I must say that blacks are the most loyal people in America. They have voted 90% plus for Democrats for as long as an elephant’s memory. The Democrats had control of government for over 40 years, yet they did not fix the black problem, like promised. They did not rid the cities of ghettos and replace them with decent housing, help blacks get jobs to elevate their status. The blacks have only progressed with the help of Republicans, funny, you would think they would vote Republican, but no, their war cry is against Republicans. This is very strange behavior.

I wonder what it feels like to be taken for granted? Do the Blacks realize Democrats think they are stupid and greedy? I say that because the Democrats tell the blacks the same thing every election year and make promises they do not keep, yet, the blacks cannot wait to vote for them. The Democrats throw them a $10 a month increase in their welfare payments to shut them up. To hell with education and dignity, let them wallow in the depraved atmosphere of Rap/Hip Hop and drugs. If that is what they want, we will not stop them. So say the Democrats…this is America and they have the right to be second class citizens.

Who appointed the most blacks to high positions in the government, such as the Cabinet members and Heads of Departments? Not the first black president, Bill Clinton, no, it was that Dastardly Dan of Presidents, George W Bush. I find that rather amazing.

The blacks must now choose between the pasty white woman who fakes a black accent when she is speaking to blacks in the south versus a real black man, who isn’t black enough. What to do, what to do…This is going to be a Tylenol moment, if there ever was one.


Oh No, Mrs. Bill!

September 2, 2007

Bill’s fans said it was a private affair and none of our business regarding his sex life. I hold a different opinion. He was tarnishing the name of our house, The White House, not his house. If he was still a hillbilly back in Arkansas, I don’t give a rat’s ass what he does in his house or how many women he had sex with, unless it was by force. We paid his rent in the White House, so I think he owed us the decency to treat it with respect. We should have sent him the bill for the fumigation after he left.

He is so proud of his sexual prowess that he cannot help but smirk when it is mentioned. When he can compete with Wilt Chamberlain, then he can smirk, but not a minute before. Even if it only took 20 minutes to have sex and that is counting the time to undress, perhaps, say hello and 3 minutes for the actual act. He was still doing it on the clock, our clock. Any man so weak as not to control his sexual lusting while President is too weak a person to be President.

We need someone with courage, strength, American values to represent us. Not some bulbous nosed pervert. And now onto his wife, (in name only, for political purposes).

She espouses she is for women’s rights. Spare me, Mrs. Bill. You are running on Bill’s coattails. Without Bill, you are just another Women’s Libber, scorned and mocked by real women and the only comment about you to make the news is about your shrill voice and your huge thighs.

But you are running for President and I have a question for you. How could you not know what was going on with Bill and all his female companions? Everybody else at the White House knew. The Secret Service, the cooks, the maids, the porters, the staff, the dog walker, everyone knew except you. How can that be? How dumb or dim are you? This alone lets me know that you are not smart enough to be President. Alert and aware are not two words used in the same sentence with your name. You allowed yourself to be humiliated over the Monica Lewinsky affair. I don’t want a President so easily and readily humiliated. The message you sent to other women is, no matter what, stay with your man, even though he humiliates you in public. In my humble opinion, that is just sick!

Now you talk tough while campaigning, but it is a phony facade. We have seen you in action and it was no action at all. You are not equipped to be President, you do not have the Right Stuff. Please do this country a favor and take your horny husband and go back to Arkansas. Buy a sheep ranch, so Bill can stay busy.


Presidents in the Land of Oz

September 2, 2007

Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado .. and off
they whirled to the land of OZ
.
They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great
Wizard.
.
“What brings the 4 of you before the great Wizard of Oz?”
.
Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said:
“I’ve come for some courage.”
.
” No Problem! said the Wizard. Who’s next?” .
.
George Herbert Walker Bush stepped forward,
“Well, I think I need a heart.”
.
“Done! says the Wizard.
Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?”
.
Up stepped George Walker Bush and said, “I’m told by the American
people that I need a brain.”
.
“No problem! said the Wizard.
Consider it done.”
.
.
Then there is a great silence in the hall.
Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but he doesn’t say
a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “Well, what do you want?”
.
.
.
.
“IS DOROTHY HERE?”