He’s A Prick Painter or Pricasso for Short

September 29, 2007

I found this short story on Yahoo about a guy named Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso because he paints with his prick. No lie, his prick. There are just too many visuals that are running through my head to write coherently, so forgive me. The article said he had painted many famous people including Bush and the Queen of England. I wonder if they sat for their painting or he just painted them when he was horny.

At least we know he is Bi-sexual. Does he take Cialis to get that 4 hour erection? I wonder how long his paintbrush is…
How can anyone keep a straight face and watch him paint?
Does he paint fast and hard or slow and easy? or both? What happens if the paint dries on his prick? Has he ever painted a self-portrait of him painting? Did he enhance his paintbrush, just a little? If he paints a lot is he getting callouses on his paintbrush? How does he paint eyelashes on faces with eyelashes being so fine? Is his paintbrush that tiny? With all the movement required with painting, what does he do when he reaches a climax? Or, is that his signature?

I can’t stop laughing, so I will leave the rest of the remarks in the capable hands of my readers. I’m sure all of you can come up with some goodies.


I’ve Had It with Has-Beens!

September 23, 2007

What is the problem with celebrities? Why can’t they just go away when it’s over? They all get their 15 minutes of fame, while some get a half-hour and the really lucky ones get a whole hour. That should be enough for anyone, but not for these old Hollywood has-beens. They will do anything to get back in the limelight.

A prime example is Sally Fields, aka, the Flying Nun and the forgettable Norma Ray. She exposed herself at the Oscars as crass as someone wearing see-thru cellophane clothing. She forget her lines to her rant against the war, oh please, how many takes does it take for her to get out 2 or 3 lines without stumbling like an incoherent old drunk? Then, to show what a classy lady she really isn’t, she had to use the blasphemous G-d D—n word in the one line she remembered, as if God had anything to do with the war. She hasn’t made print for so long, I thought she had died. So, now she is back in print, but this time to no applause. This time it is pity. She is to be pitied for her gluttony for fame, for her inappropriate behavior and her gutter mouth.

No matter how many plastic surgeries she has or how fat her bank account might be, she is still pathetic. Fake looks, idolizing self and worshipping money is a straight road to damnation. Have a nice trip, Sally, old gal…