Recall Congress

May 28, 2007

I am serious. If this amnesty bill passes and we know Bush will sign it, then, I think we should recall Congress and put them out of business. Since their business is no longer to protect us and do what we want them to do, like, protect our borders by building that damn fence. They passed a law to build the fence and so far, I think they have completed about 2 feet. Its as if our own government has turned against us.

Do you remember the towns’ people in the original Frankenstein movie, marching towards the castle with lit torches? That is what I’d like to see, but alas, Hollywood has all the torches under lock and key for their protection. You get the idea. No more complaining, its time to do something collectively, Democrats and Republicans. Kick the bastards out and shame them as we chase them into Mexico for safe haven. (It’s just an image folks, not a threat). Don’t get your panties in a twist.

Since our politicians have so much empathy for the poor Mexican workers, let them go to Mexico where they can solve the problems down there. Just leave our country alone. I also believe we should call a moratorium on all immigration for the next five years and until the war on terror is under control. Why should we allow these inefficient government agencies to handle this problem for us? We will have 5 years to revise and revamp the entire immigration process and start from scratch with the people currently trying to get into this country the legal way. They should be allowed to continue their process, but only the ones currently in process. No New Immigration.

The dirty little secret is that the Democrats are losing some of their base because people are improving their lives, getting educations and good jobs and no longer need the pittance handed down to them by the goodhearted Democrats. (hah). They need these uneducated, poor Mexicans to rebuild their base to such a level as to never lose another election because of the sheer numbers of poor Mexicans will keep voting for them to get their tiny little piece of the pie. The Republicans voting for this bill are just stupid or they are Democrats who infiltrated the Republican Party to have an effect on legislation. Either way, if this bill passes, the Republicans can pack up their tents and go home and throw a tantrum for being outsmarted by the Democrats, because they will never be heard from again. Republi-who?

I wouldn’t doubt the first item on the new agenda would be to change the name of the country from the United States of America to something like, The United Americo. I never thought I would ever live to see the sellout of our country for political power, but now I have and it makes me sick to my stomach. All great empires throughout history have fallen, so why should we be any different. This addiction for power is worse than smoking or doing drugs. It is an interminable disease that attacks the mind and soul of the politician and renders him/her heartless and corrupted inside and out. There is no cure.

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We Need to Go Back in Time

May 21, 2007

Dear God:

Why didn’t you save the school children at ?. ..

Moses Lake, Washington 2/2/96
Bethel, Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl, Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah, Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro, Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro, Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville, Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield, Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond, Virginia 6/15/98

Littleton, Colorado 4/20/99
Taber, Alberta, Canada 5/28/99
Conyers, Georgia 5/20/99
Deming, New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson, Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee, California 3/ 5/01
El Cajon, California 3/22/01 and

Blacksburg , VA 4/16/07 ?

Sincerely,

Concerned Student

—————————————————–

Reply:

Dear Concerned Student:
Sorry,

I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely,

God

———————————————————-

How! did this get started?…

—————–

Let’s see,
I think it started when Madeline Murray O’Hare complained
She didn’t want any prayer in our schools.

And we said, OK.

——————

Then, someone said you better not:

Read the Bible in school;
the Bible that says
“thou shalt not kill,
Thou shalt not steal,
And love your neighbors as yourself,”

And we said, OK…

—————–

Dr. Benjamin Spock said
We shouldn’t spank our children
When they misbehaved
Because their little personalities
Would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem.

And we said,
An expert should know what he’s talking about
So we won’t spank them anymore..

——————

Then someone said
Teachers and principals better not
Discipline our children when they misbeh! ave.
And the school administrators said
No faculty member in this school
Better touch a student when they misbehave
Because we don’t want any bad publicity,
And we surely don’t want to be sued.

And we accepted their reasoning…

——————

Then someone said,
let’s let our daughters have abortions if they want,
And they won’t even have to tell their parents.

And we said, that’s a grand idea.

——————

Then some wise school board member said,
Since boys will be boys
And they’re going to do it anyway,
let’s give our sons all the condoms they want,
So they can have all the fun they desire,
And we won’t have to tell their parents they got them at school.

And we said, that’s another great idea…

——————

Then some of our top elected officials said
It doesn’t matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs.

And we said,
It doesn’t matter what anybody, including the President,
Does in private as long as we have jobs and the economy is good….

——————

And someone else took that appreciation a step further
And published pictures of nude children
And then stepped further still by
Making them available on the Internet.

And we said, everyone’s entitled to free speech….

——————

And the entert! ainment industry said,
let’s make TV shows and movies that promote
Profanity, violence and illicit sex…
And let’s record music that encourages
Rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes…

And we said,
it’s just entertainment
And it has no adverse effect
And nobody takes it seriously anyway,
So go right ahead.

——————

Now we’re asking ourselves
Why our children have no conscience,
Why they don’t know right from wrong,
And why it doesn’t bother them to
Kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.

——————

Undoubtedly,
If we thought about it long and hard enough,
We could figure it out.
I’m sure it has a great deal to do with…

“WE REAP WHAT WE SOW”

——— ———

Pass it on
If you think it has merit!
If not then just discard it…
But if you discard this thought process,
Then don’t you dare sit back and complain about
What bad shape this country is in!!

Why is it our children can not read a Bible in school, but can in
prison?


Have a Light-hearted Weekend

May 19, 2007

Its the weekend and I thought everyone could use a good laugh after a hard week of work.

A man moved into a nudist colony. He received a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cut a photo in half, but accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He was really worried when he realized that he sent the wrong half, but then remembered how bad his grandmother’s eyesight was, and hoped she wouldn’t notice.

A few weeks later he received a letter from his grandmother.

It said, “Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style….. it makes your nose look too short.

Love, Grandma”

BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH…
>>
>>
>>A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at
>>the bar and orders a drink.
>>Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a
>>corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table,
>>leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in
>>the face and says: “I went by your grandma’s house
>>today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked.
>>Man, she is one fine looking woman!”
>>The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His
>>buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker
>>and would fight at the drop of a hat.
>>The drunk leans on the table again and says: “I got
>>it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I
>>ever had!”
>>The biker’s buddies are starting to get really mad
>>but the biker still says nothing.
>>The drunk leans on the table one more time and says,
>>”I’ll tell you something else, boy, your grandma
>>liked it!”
>>At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk
>>by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and
>>says………………
>>
>>
>>
>>”Grandpa,…… Go home, you’re drunk.


Get Out Your Kleenex

May 15, 2007

Here’s a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day,a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the
empty lot.The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough,”more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and
lunch breaks,and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a ten-dollar check. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take the ten-dollar “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was
equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with a work crew building the new house next door to us.””Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?” The little girl replied, “I will, if those
ass*&^s at Home Depot ever deliver the f%$%*n’ sheet rock. “Kind of brings a tear to the eye–doesn’t it?

___________________________________


I Must Get One of These !!!

May 7, 2007

STUN GUN (Only a guy would do this!)
>
> Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A
> guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for
> their anniversary submitted this:
>
> Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn
> Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our
> 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
> something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across
> was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of
> the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no
> long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing
> her adequate time to retreat to safety…..
>
> WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device
> and brought it home.
> I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and
> pushed the button.
> Nothing!
>
> I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I
> pushed the button AND pressed it agains
t a metal
> surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arch of
> electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
> AWESOME!!!
>
> Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what
> that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay,
> so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to
> myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two
> triple-a batteries right?!!
>
> There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on
> intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading
> the directions and thinking that I really needed to
> try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
>
> I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a
> fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is
> such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this
> thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,
> I did want some assurance that it would work as
> advertised. Am I wrong?
>
> So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top
> with my reading glasses perched delicately on the
> bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser
> in another. The directions said that a one-second
> burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a
> two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
> and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second
> burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on
> the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
> than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
>
> All the while I’m looking at this little device
> measuring about 5″ Long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty
cute
> really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a
> batteries) thinking to myself, “no possible way!”
>
> What happened next is almost beyond description, but
> I’ll do my best…
> I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her
> head cocked to one side as to say, “don’t do it
> master,” reasoning that a one-second burst from such a
> tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.. I
> decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the
> heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh,
> pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS _DESTRUCTION!@$$!%_
>
> I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side
> door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed
> us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I
> vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
> position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet,
> both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found,
> with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest
> position, and tingling in my legs The cat was
> standing over me making meowing sounds I had never
> heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to
> herself, “do it again, do it again!”
>
> Note: If you ever feel compelled to “mug” yourself
> with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such
> thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You
> will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged
> from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the
> floor. A three second burst would be considered
> conservative.
>
> SON-OF-A-… That hurt like hell!!! A minute or so
> later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing
> at that point), collected my wits(what little I had
> left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent
> reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
> How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh
> and both nipples were still twitching.
> My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain
> and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I’m still looking
> for my testicles? I’m offering a significant reward
> for their safe return.. Still in shock.
>
> P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly
> threatens me with it!
>
> —


The Birdfeeder Story

May 4, 2007

I received this from a friend and want to share it with all of you.

SOME WORDS WITH A DEEPER MEANING.
> A funny parallel…
>
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it
with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table…everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even
though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and quawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn’t even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the
bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up
their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be. quite, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now lets see…our government gives out free food, subsidized
housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for
free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: you child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press “one” to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than “Old Glory” are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Maybe it’s time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
>
>
>


Let’s Drink to That!

May 2, 2007

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli (E.Coli) bacteria
found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1kilo of Poop.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine, rum, whiskey, beer
or other liquor because alcohol has to go through a purification process of
boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:

Water = Poop
Booze = Health
Therefore, it’s better to drink booze & talk stupid, than to drink water
& be full of shit.

There’s no need to thank me for this valuable information; I’m doing it
as a public service.